Archive for September, 2010


For my first post I wanted to write about my teenage best friend. I dreamt about her last night. It’s a subject I’ve longed to write about ever since I started writing but haven’t been brave enough. I’ve taken the leap to start this blog today, so I’m going to do it in style and write the most honest and open post about both the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

I first met Lee when we were about 6, we lived in the same estate. We quickly became best friends. We constantly hung out together. After school our bags were dropped home and it was straight out to play. Our estate had a huge green area out front, and all the neighbourhood kids would play rounders/football/tag until it got dark. She had two younger sisters which, as an only child, I found fascinating. We regularly ganged up on them, but also played with them and looked after them when we were in the mood 😉 Because of this, she loved being at my house. She couldn’t understand how I’d leave my toys one way, and when I went back to them they were exactly how i’d left them.

Lee was funny, and loved having fun. She was good to be around. I’m racking my brain to think of a time when we weren’t laughing but it’s not coming. Of course this could be rose tinted glasses looking back at a friendship of 20 years ago, but I genuinely don’t think so. In fact, I once took a notion that it was weird that we never fell out, and actively set out to have a row with her. All day long I disagreed with her to get her to fight with me. Eventually, hours later, she flounced off .. only to come back half an hour later as if nothing had happened.

When I was fourteen, my parents took me to Spain for 7 weeks. It was one of those winter breaks, and I had to take all my school work with me but I wasn’t complaining. Lee asked me to bring her back some of those tiny Spanish figurines which she collected. I got her loads of them on day one. I called her to tell her and said I’d bring them over the minute we got home. She wasn’t feeling well so the chat was short.

Seven weeks later we got home. Our trip home took 24 hours, long story but included a broken down train and a lift from someone who’s wipers didn’t work in the middle of a snow storm. We were shattered getting home, but first thing I did was call Lee. I told her I had her presents but I was wrecked so I’d be over the next day. When I did go to see her the next day, her sister told me she’d been taken to hospital but that she’d be fine. The next few days went the same way, I was calling to see her/phoning but told she’d be out of hospital soon. No-one was saying what was wrong.

Four days after we got home, I was told (at school) that Lee had died that morning. She was thirteen. It turned out that she had been diagnosed with Cancer just before we had left for Spain. Her parents had chosen not even to tell her. The next few weeks passed in a blur.

Lee had written me a letter while she was ill and was apparently trying to figure out where we were staying so she could send it to Spain. Her mum gave it to me shortly after she died. She writes about all the gossip about our friends and all the ‘swag’ of presents she was getting while she was sick. As usual, she was making me laugh. I still read this letter all the time, while it brings back painful memories, it brings back some fantastic ones too.

While this has obviously been the saddest thing to happen in my life, I use Lee as my inspiration. I’m aware that she didn’t get to live her full life so when I have a decision to make, or need to decide if I’m going to ‘go for something’, I ask myself what she would do. I try to do things for both of us. I hope she’d be happy with my decisions 🙂


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Welcome .. again!


My name is Mel. Any of my friends or most people that have arrived here through Twitter will know I’ve had writer’s block since January. It’s a very long story, one I won’t even go into on this blog as this is a fresh start.

I woke up this morning *wanting* to write. That’s new. I’m excited about this blog. That’s also new. I’m starting to think my writing mojo might just be sneaking back 🙂

I also had a dream last night of exactly what my first post should be. It’s a sad one so I’m not sure if that’s the best kind, but I’m going to go for it a little later. Hope you all enjoy the blog xx



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